Princeville Patriots were up against joint leaders St Andrews "B" in what was a season defining game. The Patriots needed to get into winning ways quickly in order to maintain any title aspiations.
First up was D.Hardcastle versus hot prospect N.Procter along with I.Tomlinson and S.Clark, who prepared for the game with a king size can of Dandelion and Burdock. This aroused suspicion within Patriots management that the opposition was using performance enhancing supplements and feel drugs test is required. The Patriots IT department have discovered that Dandelion Root "aids in liver health and stimulates digestion for improved hormonal balance." Whilst Burdock Root "is nourishing and cleansing for the liver, aiding in hormonal balance."
It is also discovered that the aforementioned ingredients are in a tea format and can be obtained from leading supermarkets. The Patriots vice-captain (who happens to be a green tea drinker) is planning to make an inspired purchase and supply the Patriots refreshments for next weeks fixture against Littlemoor.
Ian started brightly against Stuart and registered a break of 23 to give a nice lead. However the game slowed down during it's middle stages, where points were scored in fragments. Out of nowhere, Stuart kicked on (fizzing from the Dandelion & Burdock) and took the lead. He had the finishing line in sight, but got stranded in the nervous nineties. Ian who was never out of contention launched a comeback but narrowly missed out to lose by 8pts.
Meanwhile on the other table, Don was outdone by Norman who was in red hot form by stringing breaks of 18, 14 and 12 to lead by 40pts. Don countered with a 14 break of his own but it wasn't enough to stop Norman register a 34pt win.
Next up was K.Tomlinson v M.Barnes and J.Butcher v S.Boocock. Steve got off to a bright start, albeit aided with some good fortune and possessed a healthy lead of around 35pts. James on the other hand had contrasting fortunes, being left with very little in the way of scoring opportunities and was forced to bide his time. The game stalled in it's middle phase, Steve not cleanly taking scoring opportunities whilst James was kept in the proverbial long grass trying to remain composed under frustrating circumstances. Eventually James found some momentum and took the iniative, getting from 20pts behind to parity with 10 minutes raining and then kicked on to claim a much needed 29pt win. Both players expressed their dis-satisfaction of their substandard performances during the post-match verdict.
Meanwhile on the other table, Malcolm enjoyed being on the front foot throughout and although Keith did get close to parity from being nearly 40pts behind at one stage, it wasn't enough to prevent another 4-1 defeat.
The Patriots title aspirations effectively over without a whimper and have suddenly found themselves in a wooden spoon battle with Littlemoor. The last thing the Patriots need is for a certain league official (who shall remain nameless) to go all wax lyrical in any Pudsey League press releases.
A leading television pundit, who happens to be out of work because England Cricket are doing so well in South Africa is planning to do a special verdict on the Patriots chronic poor form thus far. He has warned if results don't improve quickly, players will be made to travel "economy class" in future away matches.
